Anders Lost

The future is not what it used to be without you.

Everyone knows that cats will always land on their feet. And the deeper the fall, the more minor is the damage. It’s not because cats can fly, but because they are spreading their legs wide during the fall to increase air resistance. Apart from flying squirrels, who are masters in surviving falling from great heights, no other animal is capable of that.

Small children are real stars of the free fall, too. It’s just amazing. Yet some falls will remain a mystery forever. A child once fell out of a window on the upper floor, crashing hard against the concrete floor below. In the ambulance, the child asked whether they’d put a band-aid on him now? “My child is very brave and strong. He just imagined, he could fly”, his mother said. The doctors were baffled – there were no signs of bone fractures or other injuries. Some believed it was a “slightly increased proportion of fat at his bum” that saved him. But one paramedic said: “It’s not the bum, it’s as if the angels had caught him.”

Since you are no longer there, since you suddenly went down, I am myelf in free fall. But I don’t believe in angels who would catch us, I don’t believe in the Holy Spirit, nor in the company of strangers. I don’t believe in the forgiveness of my sins and I don’t believe in eternal life. I am falling into a bottomless abyss. But I believe in this: I still believe you will come back under the right circumstance. And this is where my year of magical thinking begins.